Bible verses i WASNT taught @ st. tim's

Everything that she lies on during her impurity shall be unclean; also everything that she sits on shall be unclean. Leviticus 15:20
-"impurity"? stupid men.

When any man hath a running issue out of his flesh, because of his issue he is unclean. Leviticus 15:2
-WHAT is a "running issue"??? leave it to the king james version to make it not sound so nasty. here are words from other versions (bodily discharge, discharge from his genitals, seepage...ick, okay ill stop). but one last comment: essentially, this is saying that if you are discharging anything from your private areas, it is unclean, and you shouldnt mess with it. uhm, DUH! but thanks, oh-writer-of-leviticus, for clearing that up for me. ew.

Every bed whereon he lieth who hath the issue is unclean, and every thing whereon he sitteth shall be unclean. Leviticus 15:4
-In other words: don't pee in your bed. its dirty. and watch where you sitteth. and lieth. and speaketh. teehee....eth.

And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtledoves or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness. Leviticus 15:29-30
-so, on the 8th day of your period, all ye women-eth, you must atone for your sin of your reproductive cycle. by sacrificing an animal. PETA may have something to say about that.

one last note, the website ive been looking at for this stuff is actually pretty cool. you can look up any bible passage, and then you can apply different versions of the bible, and it changes it. for instance:
And he laid hold on the dragon, that serpent of old, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years.
-Revelations 20:2, 21st Century King James
Li pran dragon an, sèpan ki la depi lontan an, sa yo rele diab la, osinon Satan, li mete l' nan chenn pou mil (1.000) an.
-Haitian Creole
Und er griff den Drachen, die alte Schlange, die der Teufel und der Satan ist; und er band ihn tausend Jahre.
-Elberfelder
Egli afferro il drago, l'antico serpente, cioè il diavolo, Satana, lo incateno per mille anni.
-La Parola e Vita

so, that's what im doing this fine saturday morning while recovering from a night of drinking.

BibleGateway.com, Passage Lookup