two down...one to go...let's hope i dont completely lose any digits before then

about a week and a half ago. i was in the shower, and i was planning to use these little travel shampoo/conditioner that my mom sent me, because they smell sooo good. so, im trying to flip open the cap of the shampoo bottle, and its HARD. so, i kinda dig my thumbnail under it, and pop it open. then, somewhere between opening the shampoo bottle, shampooing my hair, then moving on to conditioner, i forgot about the difficulty of opening the shampoo bottle (i's so smurt). and, instead of flipping the cap open with my thum NAIL, i instead tried to just flip it open with the pad of my thumb...oops, wait, that didnt work. and now my thumb is gushing blood. (i kid you not, GUSHING. i actually had to stop the shower to find a band-aid. it freaking HURT!)

so, i was feeling a little clumsy after that moment. but, then my thumb healed up...kinda. i mean, it doesnt hurt normally, but i was eating something the other day and some juice got in teh cut and hurt like a muther!

anyways, today. i dont know how, but i did it AGAIN. only this time, well..its a bit more freakish.

i sliced open my index finger, same hand as the sliced thumb. guess how i did it. no, you probably wont.
so, apparently, when i last made pasta, and i poured some sauce out of the jar, some of the sauce remained between the lip of the jar and the lid. and then it dried. and then i didnt use the sauce for like a week. so, today, i go to open the jar, and its stuck on there pretty good. so, ive got a killer grip, and JUST as the jar starts giving, and the lid is turning, SLICE! some of the dried sauce cut my thumb. im not even joking. oh to hear the annoyed profanities that came out of my mouth. its not even that it hurt, i was just annoyed.

so, that's my genious for ya. i hope some day, when im trying to get a job at a law firm, the potential employers read this and think, "Gee, she must be really smart. let's hire her..."