"why i hate girls"....or, "yes, sweetheart, im laughing at you"

so, i just went pick up dinner. pizza, actually--damn good pizza. but i didnt go anywhere fancy, just a place around the corner where you can buy pizza by the slice and stand at the counter and eat it. while im waiting for my amazing mini deep dish pepper and olive pizza (yuummmm) i turn around and what do i see?

oh dear lord! noo!! my eyes! oh god my eyes! yes, neon-orange boobs. in my face. well, EVERYONE'S faces. really, dear, there's a time and place for that much boobage. dinner time at a family restaurant? yeah, THATS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES.

but the greatest thing? she was crazy decked-out. i mean, if she had gotten a dress that fit, it would actually be REALLY cute. kinda casual, but more fancy. made even more fancy by crazy high heels. and ten pounds of make-up. but wait for it! it gets better! she was out with her boyfriend. now, if you're picturing her all super dressed up for a date at a pizza place, you might be imagining some guy in slacks and a button-down, right? hahahahaha, no. the guy was wearing an inside-out t-shirt that had probably been on his floor for 12 days, along with his pants. he hadnt showered, and, if he had, he forgot to a) wash his hair, b) use soap, and c) shave. it was awesome.