i think i just threw up a little in my mouth....

so, im applying for my loans for school (yes, yes, i know, im LAGGING. shut up.). and im adding up how much total i am going to have to borrow, and i swear to god i almost just had a heart attack.
so, im sitting here adding, and im looking at the amount of digits, and, at my total i say "fifty-five hundred." no no no, not hundred, THOUSAND! holy EFF!!! i dont know if you have ever said, this is going to cost fifty-five thousand dollars and im gonna pay it, but it's a terrible feeling. supposedly, im told, im "investing in my future." bullshit. im investing in being in debt.


my heart is hurting...