holy crap this is EFFING AWESOME

the crazies are all around...

okay, so, life is still sucking, but i thought this was interesting:
(and, as a warning, i have had an EXCESSIVE amount of caffeine this morning, and my hands are kinda shaky, so i apologize if the typing is worse than usual)

so, i know i told a few people about this, but i cant remember who, adn i cant remember if i already blogged about it, and, quite frankly, im too lazy to go back adn check.
a few weeks ago, i got a knock on my door in teh afternoon from the lady (not a law student) who lives below me. she wanted to know if i had been feeling "vibrations" in my room at all. "uuuuhhh....no." that was weird, but whatever. two MORNINGS later at FOUR AM my doorbell rings (by the way, its not so much a "ring" as a loud, obnoxious buzzer). it jolted me out of my sleep, but i didnt hear anything, so i figured it was just a dream. JUST as i was falling back asleep, BUUUUZZZZZ. and i think, should i get up and answer? what if its an emergency? but, then i rationalized that if it were an emergency, someone would be pounding on the door, so, i went back to sleep. half an hour later, BUUUZZZZZZZZ. EFF that, i am NOT getting up!! so, i fall back asleep, and my alarm goes off at 645, adn im grumpy and pissed that i didnt get a lot of sleep. so,around 730, when im trying to make breakfast and get my ass out the door, BUUZZZZZZ. criminently!!! (or however you spell it) so, i answer this time, and its my neighbor AGAIN. she again asks if i have been feeling vibrations because they kept her up all night (it was all i could do to be all, acutally, i had this annoying buzzer going and THAT kept me up all night you crazy old bat!!). but, im polite (good upbringing, i suppose), and i told her no, and she seemed upset and asked what she should do and i was all, what the hell do i know? tell the effing super!

so, that was like two weeks ago.

today, i am sitting here trying to study for a final (you ever feel as though you can study as hard as you want, but you still know nothing? yeah, its encouraging), and i hear sirens. lots and lots of loud sirens. and they stop right outside my building. so, i peak out, and there is one huge ass fire truck parked the wrong direction on my road, and another parked the correct direction, and then i hear the firemen in the building. ooooh crap i think.
and then, BANG BANG BANG on my door. "uuh...who is it?" i timidly asked. "FIRE DEPARTMENT!" oooooooh crap. and, of course, im sitting here in my underwear. and my apartment is a mess. just my effing luck.
so, i grab a towel adn put it around me (because i cant find a pair of pants in this mess!!) and poke my head out the door (so he cant see my trashed apartment). "yes?" i say. and he goes, i kid you not, "have you been feeling any vibrations in your apartment lately?" aaaand i laughed. and i said, "oh my god did the lady downstairs call you?" and he goes "yes." and i say "shes asked me a few times, i have felt absolutely NOTHING." and he kinda smiles and says thanks and leaves. (by the way, of all the firemen in new york, i get an old, unattractive guy. what the hell! where are all the super hot young firemen!? why arent THEY knocking at my door in a non-emergency situation???)
that was like 15 minutes ago. they're still here.
and now im curious as to what the "vibrations" may be.....

old age? senility? hmmm....any thoughts?

if you dont have anything nice to say....

so, today officially sucked.
no.
it SUCKED.

and, no, i dont want to talk about it. it sucked that hard.

so, ive decided something:

until i have a good day and something positive happens, im not going to post. there is no need for me to sit here and bitch. so, one day, god willing soon, i will post again.

until that moment.....

i think i just threw up a little in my mouth....

so, im applying for my loans for school (yes, yes, i know, im LAGGING. shut up.). and im adding up how much total i am going to have to borrow, and i swear to god i almost just had a heart attack.
so, im sitting here adding, and im looking at the amount of digits, and, at my total i say "fifty-five hundred." no no no, not hundred, THOUSAND! holy EFF!!! i dont know if you have ever said, this is going to cost fifty-five thousand dollars and im gonna pay it, but it's a terrible feeling. supposedly, im told, im "investing in my future." bullshit. im investing in being in debt.


my heart is hurting...

wow, it's amazing how a whole law school does not know how to work the internet

i have not had internet for almost a day now. in fact, i actually am at school at this moment, which is the only way i am able to write this. why couldnt i just log on to someone else's unprotected internet in the neighborhood, you might ask. well, it seems they all got wise and have put blocks on their internet.
so, what else did i try SEVEN different times? well, i can get internet from some coffeeshops nearby. however. i would get to the log in, and i would get to the ordering page (yes, i would have had to PAY for internet, which i was willing to do), and then it would freeze. i was soooooooo fucking (excuse my language) pissed last night. and, shockingly enough, STILL pissed today.

so, i am being kicked out of my apartment at the end of the month. i have no where to live. ALL i wanted to do yesterday was monitor craigslist and the other websites that i have PAID to use. but no. i had to sit there COMPLETELY STRESSED OUT OF MY MIND without internet. why didnt i just come to school yesterday to use the internet? well, for a number of reasons:
1) why should i have to leave my apartment to use the internet i am PAYING for at home?
2) i had soooo much i had to do--AT HOME
3) i was lazy
4) im sure there is some other reason, but im too pissed to think of it

what a great way to start the day....


sorry for the rant. i promise, once i have a place to live, and i have moved, and i have taken my final (which, by the way, is a week from tomorrow), i promise--it will be a happy post!



(oooh!! happy moment! i just got a call back about an apartment! and im off and running!!!)